The first passage I have chosen is on page 347, paragraph 2. It starts with the sentence “It’s about what the answers mean” and goes to the end of the paragraph. I like this passage because it is a theme that we haven’t talked about in class yet, the use of conversation as a tool of knowledge, whether that be socially or academically. I agree with the sentiment of this passage, and I believe that conversation helps enhance people’s understanding of topics,and will contribute to the internalization of knowledge beyond mindless memorization. I also believe that the more we talk to others the more we learn about ourselves and how we move through the world. I have seen this happen in my personal life, as some of the best learning I have done is in large group discussions in class. I remember very little about my sophomore year of high school, but what I do remember is my final in US History, where we had to debate about the ethics of hate speech bans on social media apps. I learned a lot from that final, not only about our assigned topic, but about how to have a civil discussion with people, and how to not let my emotions take over when I am in a disagreement with people. It was one of my favorite things about that class, and I still carry knowledge from that discussion as well as lessons that I learned from the debate aspect.
The second passage I have chosen is on page 345, paragraph 3. I chose this paragraph because it is a first hand account of a real problem that is arising in younger generations. As children get access to technology at younger and younger ages, it is showing a correlation with a lack of empathy in these children. I do disagree, however, with the idea that this is a sign of underdevelopment. I think this is a manifestation of kids wanting to seem older, and therefore “cooler.” With access to social media, children are exposed to adults/teenagers that they look up to, and it is easy to fall into the pipeline of thinking that being mean and not showing remorse is a way to be cooler and more “evolved” than your peers. I believe it becomes proof of underdevelopment when kids cannot grow out of this mindset and realize the error of their ways. I remember, as a kid, trying to act “cool and mysterious” by being monotone and uninterested, but I eventually realized that this wasn’t making me cool, it was just making me a jerk and wasn’t making me happy. This ties into the theme of a declining sense of empathy in people of all ages. This passage shows that the lack of empathy begins at a young age and is more often being carried into adulthood. This impact of technology leads to people only thinking of themselves and being genuinely incapable of realizing the consequences of their actions as older teens/adults instead of children who are just merely pretending not to care
In the essay “The Empathy Diaries” By Sherry Turkle Starts a section called “Generations” with the quote: “I remember the generations that first encountered networked personal computers in the 1980s and 1990s. These were machines you “went to” when you wanted to play games, or write, or work with spreadsheets, or send email. Computers offered aids to productivity and many new pleasures—but they did not suggest that text might displace talk” (Turkle 349). The essence of Turkle’s arguments is that technology is advancing at a very rapid pace that is very difficult to control. She is urging us to be wary of what technology can do in the future when we have already seen the damages it can do in the last 30 years.
In the essay “The Empathy Diaries” By Sherry Turkle, when talking about being in the moment without technology she argues “It is not enough to ask your children to put away their phones. You have to model this behavior and put away your phone. If children don’t learn how to listen, to stand up for themselves and negotiate with others in classrooms or at family dinner, When will they learn the give and take that is necessary for good relationships or, for that matter, for the debate of citizens in democracy” (350)? I like this quote because she is saying that it is not only the kids that have to make a change, but also the parents that need to make a change. This quote speaks to me because it goes with my philosophy that if you want someone to act a certain way then you need to act that way too or nothing will get done
In “The Empathy Diaries,” Sherry Turkle uses a metaphor to describe the several stations we stop at in our “voyage of forgetting.” She introduces a turning point on page 352 paragraph 3, “When we consider conversations with machines about our most human predicaments, we face a moment of reckoning that can bring us to the end of our forgetting. It is an opportunity to reaffirm what makes us most human.” This last station stop is considered a turning point because we forget how essential face to face conversations are, and we turn to those “machines” instead of each other. I agree with the passage because it is very true that many have forgotten human ways of interaction. It interests me because we’re all at different stages of this “voyage of forgetting” Turkle describes. There are times where it’s very easy to see who is at this turning point, because of their actions and behavior with technology. I think there are more stations to this voyage, and it isn’t as simple as two, but the metaphor still stands and is a great illustration to help understand our new human ways.
Turkle writes, “If we make space for conversation, we come back to each other and we come back to ourselves.” (p. 350 pg. 5) I fully agree and resonate with this quote because many don’t see the power we individually hold to change our way of thinking. Those who struggle with social interactions, due to technology use or not, can try over and again to make themselves more comfortable. We know that addiction to technology is real, thus we can treat it like we would treat other addictions. It’s complicated because of the many positive aspects technology has, but if people continue to use it irresponsibly then the negative aspects need to be fully taken away. For example Tiktok, we are very used to being indulged in doom scrolling, losing parts of ourselves and others putting out unrealistic versions of themselves. Thus, making time for genuine conversation will help us all become better versions of ourselves.
The first passage I chose is on page 349 in paragraph 2. This passage is interesting to me because it talks about how when we use technology, we look for things that will make us happy. Things that sort of justify our need to constantly rot behind our screens. If we find information that makes us happy, we take it as a sign of how technology is a “proof of progress” and we shouldn’t be discouraged about diving further into it and leaving the real world behind. This passage stood out to me because it kind of felt like a slap in the face like Turkle was thinking about me when she wrote it. I am probably just as guilty as anyone else but I really felt like I was singled. When I’m on my phone scrolling through Instagram, it doesn’t matter how many times I get reminded to get off the app, I will actively seek out something, anything that makes me feel better about all of the time I wasted.
The second passage I chose is on page 345 in paragraph 3. Thai passage interests me because it talks about students sitting together at a lunch table not talking to or sharing things together, but rather talking to and sharing things together using their phones. It shows how because of technology humans have never been so connected yet so disconnected from one another. I experience this at home, my family and I will be sitting in the same room and all be looking at our phones only stopping to tell someone “Look at the thing I just sent you.” It’s great that we are taking advantage of how connected our phones make us but we do it so much that we lose sight of what real in-person connection is.
“In the classroom, conversations carry more than the details of a subject; teachers are there to help students learn how to ask questions and be dissatisfied with easy answers. More than this, conversations with a good teacher communicate that learning isn’t all about answers. It’s about what the answers mean” (347 First Paragraph).
I found this quote to be interesting because I feel as though it is the premise of Turkle’s argument that is carried throughout the essay. Initially reading this quote I was unable to decide whether I supported her opinion or not. But after re-reading multiple times I was able to conclude that I found what she was saying meaningful and 100% accurate because I was able to understand Turkle’s anecdotes and metaphors.
As mentioned above, I initially did not have an opinion on this claim. But after self-reflection and taking the time to think of my own conversations, I was able to determine that I have seen firsthand the lack of conversation in teens and young adults. Last summer I worked at a technology free summer camp and every session without fail the first three or four days were always painfully awkward. Yes, these boys were thrown into a new environment with new people, they were silent and seemingly unable to communicate with one another simply because they were not communicating behind a screen.
“From the beginning, I found that children used the digital world to play with issues of identity. In the late 1970s and early 1980s children used simple programming as an expressive medium. A thirteen-year-old who had programmed a graphical world of her own said: “When you program a computer, you put a little piece of your mind into the computer’s mind, and you come to see yourself differently”. (345 4th paragraph)
I chose this quote because it provides some insight into the mind of children and how they are affected by the pull of the internet. I also found it interesting how Turkle discusses her observation at the school and how she referenced the fact that she went for multiple years in the 1980s and 1990s. I was intrigued by the fact that even then when technology was still relatively new, children were able to make their own augmented reality.
I feel as though this quote relates to essentially the entirety of Turkle’s “Empathy Diaries” as it supplies the reader with the answer to the main question of the piece, why are children lacking empathy. Specifically, I felt as though this quote relates to page 346 paragraph 2 when Turkle says “Real people demand responses to what they are feeling”. When children live in the world they created online as mentioned in the first quote, they are unable to have genuine, empathetic conversations.
“Many of the things we all struggle with in love and work can be helped by conversation. Without conversation, studies show that we are less empathetic, less connected, less creative and fulfilled. We are diminished, in retreat. But to generations that grew up using their phones to text and message, these studies may be describing losses they don’t feel. They didn’t grow up with a lot of face-to-face talk” (350, top paragraph). The reason this quote initially stuck out to me is because it brings up the main idea of conversation. Throughout “The Empathy Diaries” Sherry Turkle brings up this idea of the lack of conversation and how many people nowadays are unable to engage in in-person conversations without being distracted by their phone. As I read this quote again, it made me realize that the younger generation thinks that there is no problem of having an average screen time of eight to nine hours a day. I truly believe that as technology continues to advance, society continues to force it on to the younger generations, ultimately forcing an addiction on to them. In my personal life, I have realized that many people that I have talked with, whether it was at school or work, cannot hold a conversation. This issue typically holds true when I am talking to someone my age or younger because adults truly enjoy having a conversation with no distractions. Whenever I volunteered to help kids at an after-school program and they saw my phone in my pocket, they immediately would reach for it and ask if I had any games. Through my experiences, I have seen how the younger generation has had technology forced on to them and how it will hurt them in the long run.
“But these conversations require time and space, and we say we’re too busy. Distracted at our dinner tables and livings rooms, at our business meetings, and on our streets, we find traces of a new “silent spring” – a term Rachel Carson coined when we were ready to see that with technological change had come an assault on our environment. Now, we have arrived at another moment of recognition. This time, technology is implicated in an assault on empathy. We have learned that even a silent phone inhibits conversations that matter. The very sight of a phone on the landscape leaves us feeling less connected to each other, less invested in each other” (344, fifth paragraph down). This quote immediately stood out to me while reading, especially when Turkle says “we’re too busy.” I strongly agree with this quote because so many people nowadays are unable to put their phone out of sight and can just sit down, face-to-face, and have an uninterrupted conversation. When there is a lack of conversation, Turkle argues that there is a lack of empathy, and I most certainly agree with her. When people lack empathy, the only thing they do feel is interest in themselves which causes them to avoid conversation. I have seen situations like this multiple times in my life, where girls have texted me out of context and caused a weeklong fight when we could have just met in person and have dealt with it then. Turkle’s writing made me realize how much I relate to this text, especially how people avoid talking about serious problems and would rather talk about it through the phone. Another thing that I relate to is that whenever my phone is out of my line of sight, I freakout. However, now that I reflect on it, I have no reason to, especially because it is something so easy to replace, but in the back of my mind it is always the fear of missing out.
Passage 1: “I’ve gone to a reunion of my six-grade class from PS 216 Brooklyn that could never have happened if not for Facebook. Texts from my daughter, when she was twenty-three, made her seem closer to home even when she took a job on another coast. These from fall 2014: ‘Hi! I REALL like Life After Life!’ ‘Where do I get challah?’ ‘My roommate and I are going to the party as Elsa and Anna from Frozen.’ All of a sudden, with no warning, on my phone, in my hand, there will be a reference to a book or food or a Halloween costume that reminds me of our intimacy and infuses my day with her presence.”
Locate: Page 348, the first paragraph of the “Crossroads” section, sentence 3
Why: I chose this passage as it adds to the complexity of the piece. This is one of the first times throughout the essay where Turkle acknowledges a counter argument and even relates to the importance of communication through technology in her own life. It’s interesting to me that Turkle explains her communication with her daughter over the phone as a reminder of their intimacy and connection, as opposed to the conversations themselves holding intimacy. I agree that a conversation over the phone lacks several aspects unique to in person communication, but I disagree in the sense that technological conversations are completely void of intimacy and connection.
Connection: Especially since I’ve been away at college, I have had to rely on communication via my phone to keep in touch with my family and friends. When I talk to my loved ones over the phone, I feel a real sense of connection and truly believe it doesn’t only stem from a reminder of our relationship. I believe the conversations themselves also hold intimacy.
Passage 2: “It is not enough to ask your children to put away their phones. “You have to model and put away your phone. If children don’t learn how to listen, how to stand up for themselves and negotiate with others in the classroom or at family dinner, when will they learn the give-and-take that is necessary for good relationships or, for that matter, for the debate of citizens in a democracy? Reclaiming conversation begins with the acknowledgement that speaking and listening with attention are skills. They can be taught. They take practice and that practice can start now.”
Locate: Page 350, paragraph 4
Why: This passage jumped out to me because I strongly agree with it. I can’t explain the number of times I’ve seen adults complain about phone use in younger generations, while they were naïve to their own phone use. It is crucial for parents and role models to set good examples of the behaviors they advocate for their children and other youth. Children act by example and are creatures of imitation. We can’t expect them to avoid a dependency on technology and learn the proper social skills to foster genuine relationships if they aren’t taught to do so.
Connection: This passage hints at greater themes that are reiterated constantly throughout the text. One theme is this idea of “the defeated,” the audience reading this essay who feels as though there is nothing that can be done about the current issues regarding a flight from conversation. Although it is not explicitly stated, I feel as though this group of people was who Turkle was speaking to in this passage, explaining that there is in fact something that can be done. The other theme that this passage highlights is that the effects of this flight from conversation are not irreversible. Through the continuous reiteration of this theme throughout the text, the tone is hopeful, and it becomes clear that the essay serves as a call to action piece.
In Sherry Turkle’s essay, “The Empathy Diaries”, she talks about how children and their identities are affected by the web, “I found that children used the digital world to play with issues of identity.” (345). Turkle points out that children and teenagers will turn to the web when they are possibly having identity issues, believing that what they are lacking in the real world they will find in the online world. The author then goes on to further expand that “Virtual space is a place to explore the self,” (345, paragraph 14). What Turkle is trying to get across is that in the online world it is much easier to explore who you are without society looming over them.
This is interesting to me because it was ironic that while people turn to the internet to search for their identity, Turkle continuously mentions how people struggle to understand themselves. However, I do agree with Turkle that the internet is a very common place to turn to when having “issues of identity” (345). I would say that many do this because it is easier to discover who you are online than in real life.
As I stated before, there is irony in the way that Turkle mentions kids turning to the internet for self-discovery yet also points out how they struggle to understand themselves. Turkle states that many kids are so disconnected that they have begun to disconnect from themselves. It seems that kids are so deep in the world and personality they have created online that they forget who they are outside of the virtual world.
Turkle speaks on how parents need to be role models for their children when it comes to technology, “It is not enough to ask your children to put away their phones. You have to model this behavior and put away your phone.” (350, paragraph 49). If the parents are on their phone their kids will think that it is normal and okay. So when they are asked to put away their phone yet their parents don’t follow that rule they are less likely to listen.
I agree that it is important for parents to show their kids how to disconnect from their phones. Especially at young ages they are very impressionable and follow their parents’ leads for how to act in society. It is the role of the parent to make sure that their kids don’t get sucked into technology at a young age which will affect them in the future.
I didn’t get my phone until I was 12 years old however my parents had iPad that me and my siblings would use a lot. So, when it was time to go to bed and get off of the iPad sometimes it would be difficult an feel unfair when we would see our parents still got to use them. I think if my parents showed us that they were also putting their electronics away and that it was time to sleep it would have been easier and less of a hassle to put our down when we were younger.
Locate: “But these days we find ways around conversation. We hide from each other even as were constantly connected to each other. For on our screens, we are tempted to present ourselves as we would like to be. Of course, performance is a part of any meeting., anywhere, but online and at our leisure, it is easy to compose, edit, and improve as we revise” (344, paragraph 2).
Why: This passage stuck out to me because Sherry touches upon how in today’s world, we are connected, but not in a deeper way like how we used to be. I believe that she makes a very good point, as to saying how we can always talk to one another, however, we don’t. I think that it is also complicated in a way since we can always converse with one another but choose to shy away and hide. However, I also believe that it is the person who isn’t doing the conversing fault in a way since we can always talk to one another.
Connection: It has also been brought to my attention while reading this article that she does make a strong point about how we are always connected to each other. We can hide away behind a screen and think before we speak or send a text. She explains how it is easy to compose what we want to say, and I do agree with that since we have time to think and rewrite what we want to say to somebody.
Locate: “The [students] sit in the dining hall and look at their phones. When they share things together, what they are sharing is what is on their phones” is the new conversation? If so, it is not doing the work of the old conversation. As these teachers see it, the old conversation taught empathy. These students seem to understand each other less.” (345, paragraph 4).
Why: This paragraph is interesting since she talks about how conversation is sharing what is on your phone. I believe that sharing things you see on your phone makes sense, especially if it’s a picture, or say a place that they visited. I agree with Sherry in this article because now, we do show people what we want to on our phones, since everyone has their phones on them anyways.
Connection: This article spoke to me when she brought up how conversations at the dining hall include their phones in it as well. Since being in college, I believe that phones can help conversation at the dining hall. It can be a way to show off what someone did for their weekend, or if they traveled as well. I don’t believe with her point as to students understand each other less. I believe that showing something from someone’s phone can be a way of connecting and can spark conversation.
In Turkle’s essay, “The Empathy Diaries”, she warns,
We begin to think of ourselves as a tribe of one, loyal to our own party. We check our messages during a quiet moment or when the pull of the online world simply feels irresistible. Even children text each other rather than talk face-to-face with friends – or, for that matter, rather than daydream, where they can take time alone with their thoughts (344, paragraph 4).
What she is trying to accomplish by saying this is basically fear mongering. It is true that as of right now, technology does indeed have a grasp on people’s attention spans and does lead to them using technology as a way of escaping the moment, and oftentimes it can be considered an addiction, and even can turn us into solitary people. Albeit, I believe saying children lose the ability to daydream altogether just due to a few screens is a little dramatic. It is almost hard coded into young children to be creative and imaginative. A screen does not stop them from doing that, it just alters the ways in which they outwardly express that creativity. However, one point she does talk about is the fact that “children text each other rather than talk face-to-face with friends” is something that I believe we can see not only in our children, but in ourselves. I cannot count the number of times someone who is maybe in the room next to me or close by has decided to text me a question rather than walk over to me and ask it. It is a strange development and that is something I believe we as a society should truly be focused on understanding.
Later on, Turkle brings up this point that knowledge and wisdom are two different things, saying,
In the classroom, conversations carry more than the details of a subject; teachers are there to help students learn how to ask questions and be dissatisfied with easy answers. More than this, conversations with a good teacher communicate that learning isn’t all about the answers. It’s about what the answers mean. (347 para. 2)
In other words, teachers do more than just teach a subject, they want students to wonder about things, to dig deeper into things that intrigue them and to not give up when something frustrates them but to embrace it as a sign that they are gaining wisdom. I wholeheartedly agree with what she is saying here. She understands to a deeper level what it means to be a teacher, that their role in helping students develop is far more involved than simply showing them a few slides and assigning homework.
The passage I chose was paragraph 3 on page 345, where it says, “Real people demand responses to what they are feeling. And not just any response.” I find this passage interesting because I believe that people deserve real responses when it comes to their feelings—someone who understands how it feels not just an AI response.
Connection: I think this passage has a few great key points that affect humanity today. I connect with a few of them because I feel like there are a few bad things about using your phone and not socializing. Like I see today people don’t know how to conversate because they hide behind a screen all day. But I do believe that technology doesn’t always end that way, most of us know how to balance our social life while having technology available to us. Through social media, we can share our daily lives with others without having to be there, and I personally feel like that’s more of a positive way of using technology and being able to connect more with others.
In the “The Empathy Diaries” written by Sherry Turkle she introduces her view, “From the early days, I saw that computers offer the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship and then, as the programs got really good, the illusion of friendship without the demands of intimacy. Because, face-to-face, people ask for things computers never do. With people, things go best if you pay close attention and know how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Real people demand responses to what they are feeling. And not just any response.” (346) In other words, Turkle is trying to make us aware of what technology is affecting in our relationships. She is making a point that there is a big difference between having an in person conversation compared to being online. Humans want intimacy and responses that the computer cannot teach you. While using technology, you do not have to put yourself in anyone’s shoes and feel empathy however that is what a face-to-face conversation demands. Trying to hold a conversation with someone who lacks empathy is personally something I dislike. It feels like you cannot create a real connection with them or understand any of their emotions. Reflecting on Turkle’s writing, a major cause of this is technology. When you are having a face-to-face conversation and the other person keeps checking their phone is super frustrating. A term I was introduced to through Turkle’s writing was “phubbing” which is new to the dictionary and means maintaining eye contact while texting. Even though there is eye contact the conversation still feels short and it’s hard to grasp if you have their full attention.
Turkle states, “It all adds up to a flight from conversation – at least from conversation that is open-ended and spontaneous, conversation in which we play with ideas, in which we allow ourselves to be fully present and vulnerable. Yet these are the conversations in which the creative collaborations of education and business thrive” (344) In other words, Turkle believes that we are running from conversation which is stopping us from flourishing and growing through vulnerability. I agree with her view on conversation and how it forces us to be present and vulnerable. The reference to a flight from conversation interests me because it feels like that is what technology does to us. It helps us run from our problems and hide online. Personally having hard conversations helps me grow and feel more deeply. It is the only way for me to learn how to communicate and develop new ideas. Her idea of conversation creates collaborations of education, speaks to me through classwork. When we are forced to work together in groups ideas flourish and the work becomes better. This can only happen when we are fully present and vulnerable as Turkle states.
Page 348, paragraph 34, talks about the statement of “And this where the virtuous circle breaks down: Afraid of being alone, we struggle to pay attention to ourselves. And what suffers is our ability to pay attention to each other”. I related to this topic in many ways, the most impactful was my time during army basic training. This is a time that many people struggle to remember exactly what went on. It was only about a 10-week period but was the combination of so many things happening while trying to keep your head above the water line made it a difficult time for some, and others was an easy vacation and paycheck. I met some people who really struggled with the concepts and agendas that we were getting put through, and you could see them slowly changing their ways and going into an eggshell mentality. And by the end of training had totally isolated themselves not only from us in the group but also from their families. We learned that they had stopped sending letters and updating the people they knew back home. It was interesting to se that they had issues communicating with others in this way, they had been so focused on certain aspects of training that they had become numb to anything and anyone else, which may have been from some level of homesickness or regret of what they had signed up for. I can definitely agree that the power of emotional absence is real in certain times and places, especially being away from family in friends like in basic training.
Another interesting part of the article was the direct quote on page 345, in between paragraphs 11 and 12, where it says “[The seventh-grader] was almost robotic in her response. She said, “I don’t have feelings about this”. She couldn’t read the signals that the other student was injured”. This passage seemed really interesting mainly due to the fact that when I see kids, I think that the time period of when they are 10 to 15 is when their emotions really start to increase in many ways. They are starting to become young adults and learning more about what goes on in the world. This should usually be the time where emotions are at the highest. The next part can confirm that kids around this age are not fully emotionally developed, and I would tend to agree. I don’t think at this age I was at the same emotional development as I am now, but I could probably say for myself and others I knew at the time that saying I don’t care about someone who is hurt in a certain way, especially saying it in an open manner. I do not miss the parts about being at that age where we had very divided groups and could be rude to each other in certain ways. This kind of leans into the quote above how kids develop skills and knowledge about school topics, it is essential that they learn and are motivated by life lessons such as not be rude to others and to learn how to listen to reason.
13 thoughts on “JORUNAL # 5”
The first passage I have chosen is on page 347, paragraph 2. It starts with the sentence “It’s about what the answers mean” and goes to the end of the paragraph. I like this passage because it is a theme that we haven’t talked about in class yet, the use of conversation as a tool of knowledge, whether that be socially or academically. I agree with the sentiment of this passage, and I believe that conversation helps enhance people’s understanding of topics,and will contribute to the internalization of knowledge beyond mindless memorization. I also believe that the more we talk to others the more we learn about ourselves and how we move through the world. I have seen this happen in my personal life, as some of the best learning I have done is in large group discussions in class. I remember very little about my sophomore year of high school, but what I do remember is my final in US History, where we had to debate about the ethics of hate speech bans on social media apps. I learned a lot from that final, not only about our assigned topic, but about how to have a civil discussion with people, and how to not let my emotions take over when I am in a disagreement with people. It was one of my favorite things about that class, and I still carry knowledge from that discussion as well as lessons that I learned from the debate aspect.
The second passage I have chosen is on page 345, paragraph 3. I chose this paragraph because it is a first hand account of a real problem that is arising in younger generations. As children get access to technology at younger and younger ages, it is showing a correlation with a lack of empathy in these children. I do disagree, however, with the idea that this is a sign of underdevelopment. I think this is a manifestation of kids wanting to seem older, and therefore “cooler.” With access to social media, children are exposed to adults/teenagers that they look up to, and it is easy to fall into the pipeline of thinking that being mean and not showing remorse is a way to be cooler and more “evolved” than your peers. I believe it becomes proof of underdevelopment when kids cannot grow out of this mindset and realize the error of their ways. I remember, as a kid, trying to act “cool and mysterious” by being monotone and uninterested, but I eventually realized that this wasn’t making me cool, it was just making me a jerk and wasn’t making me happy. This ties into the theme of a declining sense of empathy in people of all ages. This passage shows that the lack of empathy begins at a young age and is more often being carried into adulthood. This impact of technology leads to people only thinking of themselves and being genuinely incapable of realizing the consequences of their actions as older teens/adults instead of children who are just merely pretending not to care
In the essay “The Empathy Diaries” By Sherry Turkle Starts a section called “Generations” with the quote: “I remember the generations that first encountered networked personal computers in the 1980s and 1990s. These were machines you “went to” when you wanted to play games, or write, or work with spreadsheets, or send email. Computers offered aids to productivity and many new pleasures—but they did not suggest that text might displace talk” (Turkle 349). The essence of Turkle’s arguments is that technology is advancing at a very rapid pace that is very difficult to control. She is urging us to be wary of what technology can do in the future when we have already seen the damages it can do in the last 30 years.
In the essay “The Empathy Diaries” By Sherry Turkle, when talking about being in the moment without technology she argues “It is not enough to ask your children to put away their phones. You have to model this behavior and put away your phone. If children don’t learn how to listen, to stand up for themselves and negotiate with others in classrooms or at family dinner, When will they learn the give and take that is necessary for good relationships or, for that matter, for the debate of citizens in democracy” (350)? I like this quote because she is saying that it is not only the kids that have to make a change, but also the parents that need to make a change. This quote speaks to me because it goes with my philosophy that if you want someone to act a certain way then you need to act that way too or nothing will get done
In “The Empathy Diaries,” Sherry Turkle uses a metaphor to describe the several stations we stop at in our “voyage of forgetting.” She introduces a turning point on page 352 paragraph 3, “When we consider conversations with machines about our most human predicaments, we face a moment of reckoning that can bring us to the end of our forgetting. It is an opportunity to reaffirm what makes us most human.” This last station stop is considered a turning point because we forget how essential face to face conversations are, and we turn to those “machines” instead of each other. I agree with the passage because it is very true that many have forgotten human ways of interaction. It interests me because we’re all at different stages of this “voyage of forgetting” Turkle describes. There are times where it’s very easy to see who is at this turning point, because of their actions and behavior with technology. I think there are more stations to this voyage, and it isn’t as simple as two, but the metaphor still stands and is a great illustration to help understand our new human ways.
Turkle writes, “If we make space for conversation, we come back to each other and we come back to ourselves.” (p. 350 pg. 5) I fully agree and resonate with this quote because many don’t see the power we individually hold to change our way of thinking. Those who struggle with social interactions, due to technology use or not, can try over and again to make themselves more comfortable. We know that addiction to technology is real, thus we can treat it like we would treat other addictions. It’s complicated because of the many positive aspects technology has, but if people continue to use it irresponsibly then the negative aspects need to be fully taken away. For example Tiktok, we are very used to being indulged in doom scrolling, losing parts of ourselves and others putting out unrealistic versions of themselves. Thus, making time for genuine conversation will help us all become better versions of ourselves.
The first passage I chose is on page 349 in paragraph 2. This passage is interesting to me because it talks about how when we use technology, we look for things that will make us happy. Things that sort of justify our need to constantly rot behind our screens. If we find information that makes us happy, we take it as a sign of how technology is a “proof of progress” and we shouldn’t be discouraged about diving further into it and leaving the real world behind. This passage stood out to me because it kind of felt like a slap in the face like Turkle was thinking about me when she wrote it. I am probably just as guilty as anyone else but I really felt like I was singled. When I’m on my phone scrolling through Instagram, it doesn’t matter how many times I get reminded to get off the app, I will actively seek out something, anything that makes me feel better about all of the time I wasted.
The second passage I chose is on page 345 in paragraph 3. Thai passage interests me because it talks about students sitting together at a lunch table not talking to or sharing things together, but rather talking to and sharing things together using their phones. It shows how because of technology humans have never been so connected yet so disconnected from one another. I experience this at home, my family and I will be sitting in the same room and all be looking at our phones only stopping to tell someone “Look at the thing I just sent you.” It’s great that we are taking advantage of how connected our phones make us but we do it so much that we lose sight of what real in-person connection is.
Journal #5
“In the classroom, conversations carry more than the details of a subject; teachers are there to help students learn how to ask questions and be dissatisfied with easy answers. More than this, conversations with a good teacher communicate that learning isn’t all about answers. It’s about what the answers mean” (347 First Paragraph).
I found this quote to be interesting because I feel as though it is the premise of Turkle’s argument that is carried throughout the essay. Initially reading this quote I was unable to decide whether I supported her opinion or not. But after re-reading multiple times I was able to conclude that I found what she was saying meaningful and 100% accurate because I was able to understand Turkle’s anecdotes and metaphors.
As mentioned above, I initially did not have an opinion on this claim. But after self-reflection and taking the time to think of my own conversations, I was able to determine that I have seen firsthand the lack of conversation in teens and young adults. Last summer I worked at a technology free summer camp and every session without fail the first three or four days were always painfully awkward. Yes, these boys were thrown into a new environment with new people, they were silent and seemingly unable to communicate with one another simply because they were not communicating behind a screen.
“From the beginning, I found that children used the digital world to play with issues of identity. In the late 1970s and early 1980s children used simple programming as an expressive medium. A thirteen-year-old who had programmed a graphical world of her own said: “When you program a computer, you put a little piece of your mind into the computer’s mind, and you come to see yourself differently”. (345 4th paragraph)
I chose this quote because it provides some insight into the mind of children and how they are affected by the pull of the internet. I also found it interesting how Turkle discusses her observation at the school and how she referenced the fact that she went for multiple years in the 1980s and 1990s. I was intrigued by the fact that even then when technology was still relatively new, children were able to make their own augmented reality.
I feel as though this quote relates to essentially the entirety of Turkle’s “Empathy Diaries” as it supplies the reader with the answer to the main question of the piece, why are children lacking empathy. Specifically, I felt as though this quote relates to page 346 paragraph 2 when Turkle says “Real people demand responses to what they are feeling”. When children live in the world they created online as mentioned in the first quote, they are unable to have genuine, empathetic conversations.
“Many of the things we all struggle with in love and work can be helped by conversation. Without conversation, studies show that we are less empathetic, less connected, less creative and fulfilled. We are diminished, in retreat. But to generations that grew up using their phones to text and message, these studies may be describing losses they don’t feel. They didn’t grow up with a lot of face-to-face talk” (350, top paragraph). The reason this quote initially stuck out to me is because it brings up the main idea of conversation. Throughout “The Empathy Diaries” Sherry Turkle brings up this idea of the lack of conversation and how many people nowadays are unable to engage in in-person conversations without being distracted by their phone. As I read this quote again, it made me realize that the younger generation thinks that there is no problem of having an average screen time of eight to nine hours a day. I truly believe that as technology continues to advance, society continues to force it on to the younger generations, ultimately forcing an addiction on to them. In my personal life, I have realized that many people that I have talked with, whether it was at school or work, cannot hold a conversation. This issue typically holds true when I am talking to someone my age or younger because adults truly enjoy having a conversation with no distractions. Whenever I volunteered to help kids at an after-school program and they saw my phone in my pocket, they immediately would reach for it and ask if I had any games. Through my experiences, I have seen how the younger generation has had technology forced on to them and how it will hurt them in the long run.
“But these conversations require time and space, and we say we’re too busy. Distracted at our dinner tables and livings rooms, at our business meetings, and on our streets, we find traces of a new “silent spring” – a term Rachel Carson coined when we were ready to see that with technological change had come an assault on our environment. Now, we have arrived at another moment of recognition. This time, technology is implicated in an assault on empathy. We have learned that even a silent phone inhibits conversations that matter. The very sight of a phone on the landscape leaves us feeling less connected to each other, less invested in each other” (344, fifth paragraph down). This quote immediately stood out to me while reading, especially when Turkle says “we’re too busy.” I strongly agree with this quote because so many people nowadays are unable to put their phone out of sight and can just sit down, face-to-face, and have an uninterrupted conversation. When there is a lack of conversation, Turkle argues that there is a lack of empathy, and I most certainly agree with her. When people lack empathy, the only thing they do feel is interest in themselves which causes them to avoid conversation. I have seen situations like this multiple times in my life, where girls have texted me out of context and caused a weeklong fight when we could have just met in person and have dealt with it then. Turkle’s writing made me realize how much I relate to this text, especially how people avoid talking about serious problems and would rather talk about it through the phone. Another thing that I relate to is that whenever my phone is out of my line of sight, I freakout. However, now that I reflect on it, I have no reason to, especially because it is something so easy to replace, but in the back of my mind it is always the fear of missing out.
Passage 1: “I’ve gone to a reunion of my six-grade class from PS 216 Brooklyn that could never have happened if not for Facebook. Texts from my daughter, when she was twenty-three, made her seem closer to home even when she took a job on another coast. These from fall 2014: ‘Hi! I REALL like Life After Life!’ ‘Where do I get challah?’ ‘My roommate and I are going to the party as Elsa and Anna from Frozen.’ All of a sudden, with no warning, on my phone, in my hand, there will be a reference to a book or food or a Halloween costume that reminds me of our intimacy and infuses my day with her presence.”
Locate: Page 348, the first paragraph of the “Crossroads” section, sentence 3
Why: I chose this passage as it adds to the complexity of the piece. This is one of the first times throughout the essay where Turkle acknowledges a counter argument and even relates to the importance of communication through technology in her own life. It’s interesting to me that Turkle explains her communication with her daughter over the phone as a reminder of their intimacy and connection, as opposed to the conversations themselves holding intimacy. I agree that a conversation over the phone lacks several aspects unique to in person communication, but I disagree in the sense that technological conversations are completely void of intimacy and connection.
Connection: Especially since I’ve been away at college, I have had to rely on communication via my phone to keep in touch with my family and friends. When I talk to my loved ones over the phone, I feel a real sense of connection and truly believe it doesn’t only stem from a reminder of our relationship. I believe the conversations themselves also hold intimacy.
Passage 2: “It is not enough to ask your children to put away their phones. “You have to model and put away your phone. If children don’t learn how to listen, how to stand up for themselves and negotiate with others in the classroom or at family dinner, when will they learn the give-and-take that is necessary for good relationships or, for that matter, for the debate of citizens in a democracy? Reclaiming conversation begins with the acknowledgement that speaking and listening with attention are skills. They can be taught. They take practice and that practice can start now.”
Locate: Page 350, paragraph 4
Why: This passage jumped out to me because I strongly agree with it. I can’t explain the number of times I’ve seen adults complain about phone use in younger generations, while they were naïve to their own phone use. It is crucial for parents and role models to set good examples of the behaviors they advocate for their children and other youth. Children act by example and are creatures of imitation. We can’t expect them to avoid a dependency on technology and learn the proper social skills to foster genuine relationships if they aren’t taught to do so.
Connection: This passage hints at greater themes that are reiterated constantly throughout the text. One theme is this idea of “the defeated,” the audience reading this essay who feels as though there is nothing that can be done about the current issues regarding a flight from conversation. Although it is not explicitly stated, I feel as though this group of people was who Turkle was speaking to in this passage, explaining that there is in fact something that can be done. The other theme that this passage highlights is that the effects of this flight from conversation are not irreversible. Through the continuous reiteration of this theme throughout the text, the tone is hopeful, and it becomes clear that the essay serves as a call to action piece.
In Sherry Turkle’s essay, “The Empathy Diaries”, she talks about how children and their identities are affected by the web, “I found that children used the digital world to play with issues of identity.” (345). Turkle points out that children and teenagers will turn to the web when they are possibly having identity issues, believing that what they are lacking in the real world they will find in the online world. The author then goes on to further expand that “Virtual space is a place to explore the self,” (345, paragraph 14). What Turkle is trying to get across is that in the online world it is much easier to explore who you are without society looming over them.
This is interesting to me because it was ironic that while people turn to the internet to search for their identity, Turkle continuously mentions how people struggle to understand themselves. However, I do agree with Turkle that the internet is a very common place to turn to when having “issues of identity” (345). I would say that many do this because it is easier to discover who you are online than in real life.
As I stated before, there is irony in the way that Turkle mentions kids turning to the internet for self-discovery yet also points out how they struggle to understand themselves. Turkle states that many kids are so disconnected that they have begun to disconnect from themselves. It seems that kids are so deep in the world and personality they have created online that they forget who they are outside of the virtual world.
Turkle speaks on how parents need to be role models for their children when it comes to technology, “It is not enough to ask your children to put away their phones. You have to model this behavior and put away your phone.” (350, paragraph 49). If the parents are on their phone their kids will think that it is normal and okay. So when they are asked to put away their phone yet their parents don’t follow that rule they are less likely to listen.
I agree that it is important for parents to show their kids how to disconnect from their phones. Especially at young ages they are very impressionable and follow their parents’ leads for how to act in society. It is the role of the parent to make sure that their kids don’t get sucked into technology at a young age which will affect them in the future.
I didn’t get my phone until I was 12 years old however my parents had iPad that me and my siblings would use a lot. So, when it was time to go to bed and get off of the iPad sometimes it would be difficult an feel unfair when we would see our parents still got to use them. I think if my parents showed us that they were also putting their electronics away and that it was time to sleep it would have been easier and less of a hassle to put our down when we were younger.
Locate: “But these days we find ways around conversation. We hide from each other even as were constantly connected to each other. For on our screens, we are tempted to present ourselves as we would like to be. Of course, performance is a part of any meeting., anywhere, but online and at our leisure, it is easy to compose, edit, and improve as we revise” (344, paragraph 2).
Why: This passage stuck out to me because Sherry touches upon how in today’s world, we are connected, but not in a deeper way like how we used to be. I believe that she makes a very good point, as to saying how we can always talk to one another, however, we don’t. I think that it is also complicated in a way since we can always converse with one another but choose to shy away and hide. However, I also believe that it is the person who isn’t doing the conversing fault in a way since we can always talk to one another.
Connection: It has also been brought to my attention while reading this article that she does make a strong point about how we are always connected to each other. We can hide away behind a screen and think before we speak or send a text. She explains how it is easy to compose what we want to say, and I do agree with that since we have time to think and rewrite what we want to say to somebody.
Locate: “The [students] sit in the dining hall and look at their phones. When they share things together, what they are sharing is what is on their phones” is the new conversation? If so, it is not doing the work of the old conversation. As these teachers see it, the old conversation taught empathy. These students seem to understand each other less.” (345, paragraph 4).
Why: This paragraph is interesting since she talks about how conversation is sharing what is on your phone. I believe that sharing things you see on your phone makes sense, especially if it’s a picture, or say a place that they visited. I agree with Sherry in this article because now, we do show people what we want to on our phones, since everyone has their phones on them anyways.
Connection: This article spoke to me when she brought up how conversations at the dining hall include their phones in it as well. Since being in college, I believe that phones can help conversation at the dining hall. It can be a way to show off what someone did for their weekend, or if they traveled as well. I don’t believe with her point as to students understand each other less. I believe that showing something from someone’s phone can be a way of connecting and can spark conversation.
In Turkle’s essay, “The Empathy Diaries”, she warns,
We begin to think of ourselves as a tribe of one, loyal to our own party. We check our messages during a quiet moment or when the pull of the online world simply feels irresistible. Even children text each other rather than talk face-to-face with friends – or, for that matter, rather than daydream, where they can take time alone with their thoughts (344, paragraph 4).
What she is trying to accomplish by saying this is basically fear mongering. It is true that as of right now, technology does indeed have a grasp on people’s attention spans and does lead to them using technology as a way of escaping the moment, and oftentimes it can be considered an addiction, and even can turn us into solitary people. Albeit, I believe saying children lose the ability to daydream altogether just due to a few screens is a little dramatic. It is almost hard coded into young children to be creative and imaginative. A screen does not stop them from doing that, it just alters the ways in which they outwardly express that creativity. However, one point she does talk about is the fact that “children text each other rather than talk face-to-face with friends” is something that I believe we can see not only in our children, but in ourselves. I cannot count the number of times someone who is maybe in the room next to me or close by has decided to text me a question rather than walk over to me and ask it. It is a strange development and that is something I believe we as a society should truly be focused on understanding.
Later on, Turkle brings up this point that knowledge and wisdom are two different things, saying,
In the classroom, conversations carry more than the details of a subject; teachers are there to help students learn how to ask questions and be dissatisfied with easy answers. More than this, conversations with a good teacher communicate that learning isn’t all about the answers. It’s about what the answers mean. (347 para. 2)
In other words, teachers do more than just teach a subject, they want students to wonder about things, to dig deeper into things that intrigue them and to not give up when something frustrates them but to embrace it as a sign that they are gaining wisdom. I wholeheartedly agree with what she is saying here. She understands to a deeper level what it means to be a teacher, that their role in helping students develop is far more involved than simply showing them a few slides and assigning homework.
The passage I chose was paragraph 3 on page 345, where it says, “Real people demand responses to what they are feeling. And not just any response.” I find this passage interesting because I believe that people deserve real responses when it comes to their feelings—someone who understands how it feels not just an AI response.
Connection: I think this passage has a few great key points that affect humanity today. I connect with a few of them because I feel like there are a few bad things about using your phone and not socializing. Like I see today people don’t know how to conversate because they hide behind a screen all day. But I do believe that technology doesn’t always end that way, most of us know how to balance our social life while having technology available to us. Through social media, we can share our daily lives with others without having to be there, and I personally feel like that’s more of a positive way of using technology and being able to connect more with others.
In the “The Empathy Diaries” written by Sherry Turkle she introduces her view, “From the early days, I saw that computers offer the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship and then, as the programs got really good, the illusion of friendship without the demands of intimacy. Because, face-to-face, people ask for things computers never do. With people, things go best if you pay close attention and know how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Real people demand responses to what they are feeling. And not just any response.” (346) In other words, Turkle is trying to make us aware of what technology is affecting in our relationships. She is making a point that there is a big difference between having an in person conversation compared to being online. Humans want intimacy and responses that the computer cannot teach you. While using technology, you do not have to put yourself in anyone’s shoes and feel empathy however that is what a face-to-face conversation demands. Trying to hold a conversation with someone who lacks empathy is personally something I dislike. It feels like you cannot create a real connection with them or understand any of their emotions. Reflecting on Turkle’s writing, a major cause of this is technology. When you are having a face-to-face conversation and the other person keeps checking their phone is super frustrating. A term I was introduced to through Turkle’s writing was “phubbing” which is new to the dictionary and means maintaining eye contact while texting. Even though there is eye contact the conversation still feels short and it’s hard to grasp if you have their full attention.
Turkle states, “It all adds up to a flight from conversation – at least from conversation that is open-ended and spontaneous, conversation in which we play with ideas, in which we allow ourselves to be fully present and vulnerable. Yet these are the conversations in which the creative collaborations of education and business thrive” (344) In other words, Turkle believes that we are running from conversation which is stopping us from flourishing and growing through vulnerability. I agree with her view on conversation and how it forces us to be present and vulnerable. The reference to a flight from conversation interests me because it feels like that is what technology does to us. It helps us run from our problems and hide online. Personally having hard conversations helps me grow and feel more deeply. It is the only way for me to learn how to communicate and develop new ideas. Her idea of conversation creates collaborations of education, speaks to me through classwork. When we are forced to work together in groups ideas flourish and the work becomes better. This can only happen when we are fully present and vulnerable as Turkle states.
Page 348, paragraph 34, talks about the statement of “And this where the virtuous circle breaks down: Afraid of being alone, we struggle to pay attention to ourselves. And what suffers is our ability to pay attention to each other”. I related to this topic in many ways, the most impactful was my time during army basic training. This is a time that many people struggle to remember exactly what went on. It was only about a 10-week period but was the combination of so many things happening while trying to keep your head above the water line made it a difficult time for some, and others was an easy vacation and paycheck. I met some people who really struggled with the concepts and agendas that we were getting put through, and you could see them slowly changing their ways and going into an eggshell mentality. And by the end of training had totally isolated themselves not only from us in the group but also from their families. We learned that they had stopped sending letters and updating the people they knew back home. It was interesting to se that they had issues communicating with others in this way, they had been so focused on certain aspects of training that they had become numb to anything and anyone else, which may have been from some level of homesickness or regret of what they had signed up for. I can definitely agree that the power of emotional absence is real in certain times and places, especially being away from family in friends like in basic training.
Another interesting part of the article was the direct quote on page 345, in between paragraphs 11 and 12, where it says “[The seventh-grader] was almost robotic in her response. She said, “I don’t have feelings about this”. She couldn’t read the signals that the other student was injured”. This passage seemed really interesting mainly due to the fact that when I see kids, I think that the time period of when they are 10 to 15 is when their emotions really start to increase in many ways. They are starting to become young adults and learning more about what goes on in the world. This should usually be the time where emotions are at the highest. The next part can confirm that kids around this age are not fully emotionally developed, and I would tend to agree. I don’t think at this age I was at the same emotional development as I am now, but I could probably say for myself and others I knew at the time that saying I don’t care about someone who is hurt in a certain way, especially saying it in an open manner. I do not miss the parts about being at that age where we had very divided groups and could be rude to each other in certain ways. This kind of leans into the quote above how kids develop skills and knowledge about school topics, it is essential that they learn and are motivated by life lessons such as not be rude to others and to learn how to listen to reason.